Jasa Mu Dikenang





Tuan Haji Nazlan bin Abdullah,
PKHEM SMK Tembila
berpindah ke SMK Putra
sebagai
PK Pentadbiran.

Things People Said

The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.

  • Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
  • Witness: "I only have one, you know."

  • Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
  • Witness: "By death."
  • Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

  • Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"

The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.


  • Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
  • Witness: "July 15th."
  • Lawyer: "What year?"
  • Witness: "Every year."

  • Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?"
  • Witness: "There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet."
  • Lawyer: "Can you identify the rifle?"
  • Witness: "Yes. There was something written on the side of it."
  • Lawyer: "And what did the writing say?"
  • Witness: "'Winchester'!"

  • Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
  • Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."

  • Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
  • Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
  • Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
  • Witness: "Er...his face."

  • Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
  • Witness: "I forget."
  • Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"

  • Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
  • Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
  • Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
  • Witness: "Forty-five years."

  • Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
  • Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
  • Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
  • Witness: "My name is Susan."

  • Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ?"
  • Witness: "Well, I can see pretty well, I think."

  • Lawyer: "Did you blow your horn or anything?"
  • Witness: "After the accident?"
  • Lawyer: "Before the accident."
  • Witness: "Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it."

  • Lawyer: "Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?"
  • Witness: "Yes, sir."
  • Lawyer: "What did she say?"
  • Witness: "'What disco am I at?'"

  • Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
  • Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
  • Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
  • Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

  • Lawyer: "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

  • Lawyer: "And you check your radar unit frequently?"
  • Officer: "Yes, I do."
  • Lawyer: "And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?"
  • Officer: "Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly."

  • Lawyer: "What happened then?"
  • Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
  • Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
  • Witness: "No."

  • Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
  • Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."

  • Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

  • Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"

  • Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"

  • Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"

  • Lawyer: "How long have you been a French Canadian?"

  • Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
  • Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"

  • Lawyer: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
  • Witness: "I went to Europe, sir."
  • Lawyer: "And you took your new wife?"

  • Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
  • Witness: "That's me."
  • Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"

  • Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"

  • Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
  • Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
  • Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"

  • Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
  • Witness: "Four times."

  • Lawyer: "Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"

  • Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
  • Witness: "None."
  • Lawyer: "Were there girls?"

  • Lawyer: "You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?"

  • Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

  • Lawyer: "Have you lived in this town all your life?"
  • Witness: "Not yet."

  • Lawyer: (realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question) "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."

  • Lawyer: "Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Eddington at the Rose Chapel?"
  • Witness: "It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30pm."
  • Lawyer: "And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time, is that correct?"

  • Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
  • Witness: "Borofkin."
  • Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
  • Witness: "I can't remember."
  • Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
  • Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"

  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
  • Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
  • Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
  • Witness: "No."

  • Lawyer: "Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?"
  • Witness: "No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region."

  • Lawyer: "What is your marital status?"
  • Witness: "Fair."

  • Lawyer: "Are you married?"
  • Witness: "No, I'm divorced."
  • Lawyer: "And what did your husband do before you divorced him?"
  • Witness: "A lot of things I didn't know about."

  • Lawyer: "And who is this person you are speaking of?"
  • Witness: "My ex-widow said it.

  • Lawyer: "How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?"
  • Witness: "Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr. Cherney and said he was really good."

  • Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
  • Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."

  • Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
  • Witness: "Yes sir."
  • Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"

  • Lawyer: "Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
  • Witness: "No. This is how I dress when I go to work."

  • The Court: "Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any."

  • Lawyer: "Did he pick the dog up by the ears?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "What was he doing with the dog's ears?"
  • Witness: "Picking them up in the air."
  • Lawyer: "Where was the dog at this time?"
  • Witness: "Attached to the ears."

  • Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
  • Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."

  • Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
  • Witness: "Oral."
  • Lawyer: "How old are you?"
  • Witness: "Oral."

  • Lawyer: "What is your relationship with the plaintiff?"
  • Witness: "She is my daughter."
  • Lawyer: "Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?"

  • Lawyer: "Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?"

  • Lawyer: "Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?"

  • Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
  • Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
  • Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"

  • Lawyer: "Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?"
  • Witness: "He didn't offer me nothing. He just said I could have the furniture."

  • Lawyer: "So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?"
  • Witness: "I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital."
  • Lawyer: "It was covered?"
  • Witness: "Yes, bandaged."
  • Lawyer: "Then, later on...what did you see?"
  • Witness: "I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head."

  • Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
  • Witness: "I could see his head."
  • Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
  • Witness: "Just above his shoulders."

  • Lawyer: "Do you drink when you're on duty?"
  • Witness: "I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk."

  • Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
  • Witness: "The victim lived."

  • Lawyer: "The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it? You too were shot in the fracas."
  • Witness: "No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."

  • Lawyer: "Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?"
  • Witness: "Because he was argumentary, and he couldn't pronunciate his words."

SELAMAT HARI GURU


SELAMAT HARI GURU
16 MEI 2011

Lebih 400,000 guru biasa kecewa dipinggirkan

Kira-kira 400,000 guru kelas biasa kecewa dengan pengumuman kerajaan pada Hari Guru baru-baru ini yang hanya membawa berita gembira kepada 2,000 guru besar dan guru penolong kanan yang akan menikmati kenaikan gaji mulai awal tahun depan.

Sehubungan itu, Setiausaha Agung, Kesatuan Perkhidmatan Perguruan Kebangsaan (KPPK) Lok Yim Pheng berharap kerajaan akan menangani rintihan dan masalah serta memberikan mereka lebih banyak peluang kenaikan pangkat.

"Ironinya di sebalik membawa kegembiraan, pengumuman itu menimbulkan kebimbangan dan rasa sedih di kalangan guru kerana sejumlah besar daripada mereka seperti diketepikan," katanya kepada Bernama di Kuala Lumpur hari ini.

Lok juga meminta guru-guru yang dipinggirkan ini tetapi menjadi "teras" pendidik peringkat akar umbi supaya bertenang dan meneruskan tugas-tugas murni mereka seperti biasa serta menyerahkan kepada kesatuan soal mengenai perjuangan menjaga kebajikan mereka.

Beliau berkata, pihak kesatuan yang mewakili 140,000 guru di seluruh negara akan berusaha untuk mengadakan perjumpaan dengan Perdana Menteri, Datuk Seri Najib Razak secepat mungkin untuk memaklumkan sendiri mengenai rintihan dan masalah yang dihadapi oleh guru kelas biasa.

Ramai tak puas hati

Menurutnya, pihak kesatuan tidak akan menghampakan guru-guru ini kerana mereka merupakan "tonggak" pendidikan, di mana semua sekolah bergantung kepada kejayaan meraka melaksanakan tanggungjawab dengan baik.

"Tanpa dedikasi guru-guru kelas ini, kalangan guru besar dan pengetua sahaja tidak akan dapat mengendalikan sekolah," katanya.

Sementara itu, tinjauan rambang Bernama mengesahkan kenyataan kesatuan itu bahawa ramai guru pada dasarnya tidak berpuas hati dengan pengumuman kerajaan yang memberikan kelebihan hanya buat ketua-ketua sekolah.

Seorang guru yang dikenali sebagai Chandran, 45, yang berpengalaman 18 tahun mengajar berkata, beliau amat sayangkan karier sebagai seorang guru dan amat sayangkan muridnya, namun beliau merasa kecewa kerana merasakan dedikasinya selama ini seperti tidak dipandang.

"Saya biasanya pulang ke rumah sejam atau dua jam lebih lewat kerana saya lanjutkan masa mengajar di sekolah, khusus buat pelajar yang lemah, malah saya ambil inisiatif himpunkan mereka pada hujung minggu untuk membantu mereka dalam pelajaran, namun ini nampaknya tidak dihargai oleh pihak sekolah," katanya.

Seorang lagi guru yang hanya mahu dikenali sebagai Miss Tan berkata, beliau sedih dengan pengumuman itu, kerana beliau mahupun rakan-rakan sejawatannya tidak memperolehi apa-apa manfaat daripadanya.

"Kami bekerja keras, tapi dedikasi kami seperti tidak dihargai," katanya.

Sumber : http://malaysiakini.com/news/164447

Berita Bergambar Sambutan Hari Guru 2011( part 2)


Sedia....



101


Nyanyian Duet


Kumpulan dikir barat


jasamu dalam ingatan....... guruku..


Terima hadiah Sukaneka


Gamelan ....... Secara langsung.

Persembahan Guru


Berbalas pantun


Para hakim yang Bijaksana

Berita Bergambar Sambutan Hari Guru 2011( part 1)


Biar lambat asalkan selamat


Beres bos, mesti masuk la..


Eksperimen di luar makmal


Stedi nik..


Aie.. keno ko dok ni....


Bidas molek aaaa......


Aksi hebat di arena bola tampar


PK Khas dan En. Azhar pun makan burger je...


Kesian KB kita, makan nasi tak ada lauk...

Majlis Penyampaian Watikah Perlantikan Pengawas 2011

TARIKH : 03 MEI 2011 ( SELASA )
MASA : 7.40 - 9.00PG
TEMPAT : DEWAN DINAMIK , SMK TEMBILA.

PENYAMPAIAN WATIKAH OLEH ;
INSP. TN. YAAKOB BIN MOHD TAIB
PEGAWAI PERHUBUNGAN SEKOLAH
merangkap
KETUA BALAI POLIS KAMPUNG RAJA.